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Baby, don't say goodbye.

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Hello, I am theo:)


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Tuesday, November 29, 2005 { 5:39 AM }

in that instance, it all just sux. realli. i dont understand why it bcam like that. i questioned myself y. mani times..i dont haf an answer. when u lie, it's due to a break of promise. but when u dunt even promise, that's not a lie anymore. yes..i'm disappointed in human nature. ppl onli care about the outside. wat matters most to them is the exterior. when u r popular, u r rich, u r famous, ppl flock to u, but when u r poor, rundown..nobody bothers about u. y is the world so cold n realistic? i'm more depressed. i've learnt to change, but it didnt matter anymore. i'm baq to my old depressed self. anger just seized me..is the outside so important? no..to me, it doesnt matter. i've learnt to see each day as a new learning experience. there r many things awaiting for us. yes. i did learn sth at the end of the day, but it was sth that made me sad..the feeling juz rekindled. superficial wounds can heal in a matter of time. it'll haf scars, but soon it'll disappear, but those wounds that go deep into your hearts, it'll remain. just one action, one word..it'll hurt. fate cn fill the hollow part in us..n make us not so lonely, but i wonder..do i even haf the strength to do so? i've haf no pillars. no support. one day..after so many times of trying to stand stong, i'm afraid i'll collapse. i'll not cry. no matter wat happens, i'll not cry. i'll only stand stronger. i guess i haf mood swing today. jus feel so moody. dunt know y. yea..during the whole course i was alone..thinking things thru..about that day. wow..the impact of it was real strong. i couldnt forget, but i'll forgive. give it some time..it may heal. i believe. if u belive it can be done, it'll be done; but if u believe it cant be done, so be it. even if the heart breaks, it'll still pump, and life continues. i'll try my best to heal this wound that went so deep..it realli nid a lot of time. but time can make ppl feel loneli..hahaas. ok..i've decided..i'll be depressed again. n yes i will. no point being optimistic when u noe it'll not change anything rytes? n u noe..it's hard to be optimistic. ok..we learnt cpr today. ytd the thingsy is rescue breathing. n i dunt know anything lehs..so scared. tml test mahz..so scary. n in thursday is my guzheng xam le..i vv worried. the practise song still havent finish yet..lao shi last min den tell me..now i dunt noe wat to do le. n she'll b cuming tml morning, so i go np a bit later lor..hope when i reach there the test will not start. guess wat? i still rmb the first time i said sux. it all began when i was a sec 1..i didnt dare say the word sux ...tt was the vv first time i said it. hhaas. furni when i strat to think about it. how i hope the thing is conducted by st johns..then dunt nid learn so much mahz..cuz it'll onli b one day de..hahaas..but now..3 days lehs..will die de..n today was so gross lar..tok about amputated finger..i was practicalli crying there n when eunice asked if i'm ok..i realli cried..but i covered myself. yep..so baby rytes? but i realli vv scared. then my hands all turn jelly. i couldnt even open the pen cap lor..stupid me. n we haf to act vitims n help each other wrap the hand..head..n rib..n hip. the hip was so a,but the head was totalli kuku. hahaas. vv furni looking. eunice vv poor thing..cuz i tie until..dunt noe like wat like tt..n i vv blur de. hahaas. yea..so..did vv badli lor. n we had a lil race. evacuation. hav to help a casualty bandage this, bandage that and later help evacute him. n our dummy is zeng yuan. so pitiful lor..n when we evacuate we were like running vv close together..n i vv scared i would trip, so i asked shaun to take over me..i dunt wanna make zeng yuan fall. hahaas. he went all pale lar..it ended early cuz we were good..n they could go fast(: went to take photo with celeste later at nite. n i took the photo i was like..so ugly lar..eww..bad skills lar..tt person. make my face so found. i know i'm chubby, but my face is not round!. they put the photo to close to the face le..so it appeared like that lor..haiz..bad skills indeed. ate dinner there..n came home to practise guzheng. siao lar..i vv worried lehs..2 days more!